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As I write this, I’m thinking about the stat that women do 4 hours of “unpaid women’s work” a day.1 Things like laundry, child/elderly care, grocery shopping, gift buying, calendars, carpools, organizing celebrations at work, taking the notes at an important meeting, etc.
How much time have you spent today doing “unpaid women’s work?”
I mentally add up all the “unpaid women’s work” I’ve done instead of writing. So far, I’m at 3.5 hours-almost at the average 4 hours a day, and it’s only 3.30pm.
This is my Moxie Moment. Being aware of the time that I’m doing “unpaid women’s work,” what it costs me (I have to skip restorative yoga, so I can publish this on time), and what I’ll do differently next time (so I can get to yoga).
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Get paid what you’re worth: continued.
2. Unpaid women’s work: be aware of the cost.
Research shows that 75% of unpaid labor in the United States is done by women. Less in Norway, a lot more in Egypt.1
I call it “unpaid women’s work.”
Research also shows that women spend 4 hours a day v 2.5 hours for men. Personally, I believe women are under-reporting.
As I shared above, I’m already at 3.5 hours, and it’s only 3.30pm.
I’m not saying, stop doing “unpaid women’s work.”
Although Iceland did in 1975 and again in 2023, and they are the most equitable (and safest) country for women to live in.
I’m saying, be aware of it, be intentional, and talk about it.2
Once I started pointing out the “unpaid women’s work” I was doing at home, my partner would at first jokingly say when he unloaded the dishwasher, “I’m doing ‘unpaid man’s work.’”
Which then grew into a real awareness. He started doing more and noticed when I was doing more.
In addition, be aware of the “unpaid women’s work” you’re doing at work: leading the committee, stopping to pickup coffee for the office, making sure everyone else has talked before you.
“Unpaid women’s work” not only costs us financially, it takes up headspace, heartspace, and time we could be spent playing with our children, eating lunch, reading a book, and working on that next promotion.
Moxie challenge: Keep track of how much time you spend a day doing “unpaid women’s work” at home and at work. How can you share some of the “unpaid women’s work?” Or better yet, what can you say “NO” to?
3. Pay women what they’re worth: including yourself.
At a conference I was keynoting at, a woman who was retired said to me, “I’m surprised it will take over 200 years for pay equity. It feels like we haven’t come a long way. Why do you think this is?”
As I listened, I learned that she had been an HR executive at a “Big-Deal” company before retirement. As I asked questions, I found out that she paid women less.
“I knew I could pay a woman who was more competent $75,000 for a job a man who was less competent $100,000 for.”
When she said this, she was smiling. I paused. Trying to figure out how to stand up for women and keep her engaged, I said, “And that is part of the problem. Now that you know better, how would you do better?” She was silent.
My advice to her and you is, “Don’t be silent.”
I was at a conference many years ago, and a woman on the panel said,
“If you can’t pay the price, wait until you can. Do not ask her to do it for free or pay her less.”
As a master negotiator, I love a good deal. And I’m good at it. But her words changed me.
Today, it’s not about the win for me but the win for we. What I call “win-win-win.”
I will pay more to support a woman-owned business, a local business, a socially minded business. And I won’t ask a woman to do her professional work (how she makes her living) for free or for a discount. I will wait until I can pay her the price she quotes, or I will ask for a payment plan-so I can stay in my budget and pay her, or I will find a sponsor and create a “win-win-win.”
Last thing. Be aware that demographics matter. Women’s Equal Pay Day for 2024 was March 12th. If you’re Black, it’s July 7th. If you’re a Mom, it’s August 9th. And if you’re a Native woman, it’s November 21st.3
Moxie challenge: How will you do better for other women, future women, and yourself?
Dear Moxie,
Be aware of when you give your time and talent away for free, when you unconsciously expect other women to do the same, and when other women give away their value.
And say something.
Valuing ourselves is contagious. When you value your time, talent, and head/heartspace-others will too.
Now go value yourself, other women, and MOXIEon. Kristi
PS. Welcome to the new subscribers from the Army, Moxie Book Club, and beyond. We’re glad you’re here.
PPS. Moxie Mixer is coming soon.
1 I missed restorative yoga. Be aware of the costs of “unpaid women’s work.” Women Handle 75%+ Of All Unpaid Labor. Their Health Pays the Price. (forbes.com)
2 I’m heading to Luxembourg in September. I may need to stop over in Iceland and experience the most equal country in the world myself. Iceland strike 2023: why women walked off the job for one day (fastcompany.com)
3 Ask your friends. It’s true. Gender Pay Gap Statistics In 2024 – Forbes Advisor Equal Pay Day Calendar – AAUW : Empowering Women Since 1881
4 It’s hard to be first-but it matters. When I pushback on doing work for free, so do others. Show me the money: why women need to stop working for free | Women in Leadership | The Guardian
People Don't Respect Free Work, So Charge Them for It (forbes.com)